Wednesday, March 29, 2006


My latest ATC...Do you like 'dark' trading cards? Then check out Moody Trading Cards

*Warning* Below is a bunch of angry venting. Half sad, half quarky-funny.

Lately I've been feeling out of sorts-which is typically normal for this time of year but lately I've been feeling angry. Maybe because I want to change and it's my way of working through it. But I want to try something out... I want to tell you truthfully how I feel. I want to expose it to the world and see what happens...An experiment, if you will.

I was writing my daily pages this morning and began to wonder how long I would keep this journal. After all, I'm notorious for throwing away 'evidence' - especially journals because I don't like what I've said and god forbid someone stumbles upon it and finds out how I really feel. My warped thought process automatically thinks that I am objectionable. And if they did find out how I really felt or thought, they would absolutely hate me.

Now, before you start feeling sorry for me... I know this is a distorted thought process. I am doing this to expose my biggest secret and prove to myself that nothing bad will happen by doing so.

Ok, I was saying that I imagine people disliking me like as they would dislike poison or Hitler. Logically when I think about it, even if I were Hitler I would still catch a break... (to this day there are a bunch of Neo-Nazi psychopaths that think Hitler was great)
My point being that I could be Hitler or the Devil himself and someone would still like me. Luckily I'm just an average nice person-I smile at everyone who catches my eye and I don't demand human sacrifices in my name.

I try to make myself feel better and jokingly tell myself that there has never been an incident where an angry mob weilding primitive rakes and torches chase me out of the grocery store yelling obscenities and throwing rocks. Not that it helps because I really don't think there's a mob waiting for me. It's just a feeling that there are eyes everywhere and a cruel Joan Rivers commentary as I bring in the garbage cans.

I know it's a fear of being embarrassed or confronted but it's not like I can't hold my own ground. I do think that I am good at defending myself and don't stand for anyone being mean to me or the people around me - I will speak out.

I just want to stop feeling this's so exhausting.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Mixed Media Memoirs

Go Back and
Mixed Media Memoirs: Sometimes I wish I could go back and...

I usually post my Mixed Media Memoirs in Joy Eliz but now think that the moodier posts belong here.

Of course I would like to go into the past and change things - obviously with the knowledge I have today. Although I bet that there would be new mistakes made and at the end of the day I'd still be where I'm at. One thing I wish though is that I had more motivation, more foresight. Even now I wish I had more motivation and forsight. I sometimes wonder if I really want the things that I do.

For example: It's the end of March and I know that warm weather is just around the corner. I want to get rid of the extra pounds I put on over the winter and everyday I tell myself I am going to go for a walk, or do sit-ups or generally eat better. But everyday I don't - The only active thing I'm doing is getting mad at myself which we all know doesn't do squat for getting in shape.

It's like, "buck up, damn it!"

Monday, March 27, 2006

Illustration Friday

The Cult
Click to see details

For Illustration Friday the theme is Monster. And here is a 'monster' that scares me personally.

I am not talking about your average religious person. I admire those who are religious - I think that religion is a great comfort.

The monster I speak of is the zealot. The ones who invade your privacy and come at you like a pack of hungry wolves. The ones who through a need that even they don't fully understand, want you to join their cause in order to make themselves feel validated. And the scariest monster of all are the ones who use religion as a means for personal gain. Pity to all those who fall victim.

My belief is unwavering - I need never practice.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Evil Faces Trading Cards

evil faces
Click to Enlarge

3 Evil Faces...Up for trade.

Go ahead and laugh, it is funny!

When I am mad at the World...

Click to enlarge.

I made these trading cards when I was crabby and mad at the world. The inspiration comes from a song by XTC - album: Skylarking (1986).

Sunday, March 19, 2006

More Ravens

ATC Raven No.
Here I've got two ATC's (artist trading cards)

Yes, more Ravens...I don't know, it's just a 'thing' lately.

I would go into great detail explaining how the numbers coincide with the words associated with the Raven, but I figured you didn't want to read a novel...besides you can probably figure it out. If not, then just make something up - I don't mind.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Illustration Friday


A vilified ritual - The Tattoo...

As I pondered this weeks Illustration Friday topic of Tattoo, I couldn't help but wonder when Tattoos became taboos. Although that doesn't seem to be the case these days, the tattoo still has a 'bad boy' reputation. I personally don't have a tattoo, not because I think they're bad but because I've seen the saggy, gray eagle on my grandfathers arm....eewww!

I did a little research and found that tattooing goes all the way back to prehistoric times, we're talking 3300B.C. Tattooing was mainly spiritual - Early Celts would get a tattoo following the death of a loved one.

So when did it become such a bad thing? It was during the process of Christianization in Europe that tattoos were considered pagan traditions and prohibited as well as vilified.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Raven ATC

Raven ATC

Here's my latest in ATC.
The mysterious Raven and all his reputations

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Illustration Friday

IF Insect

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Love for Tart

Love Spell

This is a Camel Exchange contribution. The original piece(the pink center with heart) is from Tart

Looks like some person is about to get "love-vexed". Natch! (as the Tart would say)